Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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