i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
