And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
