Heybabeimwearingurpanties
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
