That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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