I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
