Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
