i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
