What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize