She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize