I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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