Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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