i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
