Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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