put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
