Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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