Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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