Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
