More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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