first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
