Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
