I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
