So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
did i walk over a car last night?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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