He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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