then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
