Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
