I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
