hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
