This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
