Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
