Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Randomize
