i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
