I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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