I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
