I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
