it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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