There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize