They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
