Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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