Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
