How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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