somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
