Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
