so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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