We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
