He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
