Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
