How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
