its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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