So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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