well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
