dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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