Plan B is the new Plan A
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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