look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize