Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
