I will die if light touches me.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
