addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
