I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
