jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
