I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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